If you are seeking help, you have taken a step toward getting out of a depressed way of life. Many people think of depression as sadness. Although sometimes there is sadness associated with it, most often it is defined by an absence of feeling, a kind of shut down, withdrawn state.
When you are depressed, it is hard to find pleasure and meaning in most things. A sense of “why bother” interrupts life. It is hard to get motivated. Experiences of self-doubt predominate. You may not feel deserving of anything, even help. There are times that depression has a biological basis and a physician needs to be consulted for possible medication. Frequently, however, psychotherapy is extraordinarily useful, sometimes with- and sometimes without- medication. In psychotherapy, we can explore together the meanings we give to life events and why we do so. For example, if you experience a rejection, either work or personal, and it is your inclination to see that as confirmation of something inherently wrong with you, that may be a depressed person’s way of interpreting events. Safety is often then found in holding onto this belief, anticipating future rejections and preventing them before they happen, for example, by withdrawing. Self-fulfilling prophecies start in this way.
Together we can challenge and interrupt these patterns. We can learn how this way of being developed. We can find ways of creating safety in the world and in new relationships. As we achieve this together, withdrawal from people, into familiar, safe-but-unfulfilling states will not feel like the only answer.
